Vogon poetry


The majority of you might know it just by the simple fact that...

'Vogon poetry is of course, the third worst in the universe...' as Douglas Adams ingeniuously put it in his entertaining sci-fi masterpiece The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy...

I also got to know it from a quite different perspective - as one of the toughest and trickiest routes of my local climbing crag, Dovzanova soteska.

Because of it's flat nature and only minimalistic holds some climbers were also grading it as the 'ugliest' (no harm intended ;)) of the lot, but I eventually decided to at least try it out before giving it any smart remarks.

Through my tendency to perform better on overhanging routes, the conclusion for me ended up as a three-week 'full on' project, with the final ascent lying in the air for the whole of the last week. And though graded at a mere 7b+ and thus beeing quite far from my outmost climbing maximum - it was, remarkably, also a route that probably taught me the most about climbing movement of them all?!!

When I arrived back home, I simply had to open the book for one last time... to read...

Oh freddled gruntbuggly
Thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits
On a lurgid bee.

Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes
And hooptiously drangle me
With crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon,

See if I don't! - Excerpt (7th chapter)


...as the the words interestingly made sence - for once. See if I don't'! ;)